Deus ex Machina

preparing notes for my final exam. i will be free of something...

Sun, 13 May 2012 18:39:00 -0400

preparing notes for my final exam. i will be free of something tomorrow at around 4.30 to be exact. and a new chapter will follow. i may continue to hold, but i know the deep breaths won’t hurt as much anymore. its remarkable how you see time, and the time one allows themselves to employ their joys. i will continue buying new tools. and every purchase will be monitored without real money. i will be a craftsman at what i choose to do. i will keep all my bulletin boards and remember why i am here. i almost never fail at analysing my inspirational moments, and i agree unbelievably that as i have criticised my life until today, i will not change. i accept. forgive myself. and will enjoy the day even if there is a tiny element of sadness.

i will not be a boring product. my only promise to myself

any trouble finding a way into the laws of an easy going one?...

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 19:19:00 -0500

any trouble finding a way into the laws of an easy going one? impossible. to fulfil the utmost non-passive life, full of opportunities, one must do a plenty and more. and it is your journey that takes you places that were not on your lists. those targets will be defeated by other suggestive reasons, and along the way you will network into awkward reality. this is the point your cocoon learns the subject of; power, and you notice each deal in vanity, then possibly you can only surpass who you was and who you will ever be. we are different every day. and every moment we live, must be with delight in the nature of being a talking animal. red underwear and blue skies, with touches of yellow in everything we believe in, surely, no existence is possible without the sun, and the urge to be yourself regardless of any presentation of morals and ethics. the time ticking reminds us of new ages, then only that length of time matters. the ones that bring in new lines and our genetics kick in more than any other moments we had ever kept secure for self-realisation. 30 is not huge. the worry of dying out of place. fear for not having an insightful life, seeing blotches pass by, and everything turning into soup. walls are the only confessions. really. truly. we must make up. we must compromise. we must sleep in a warm spot. and our bed must portray who we are. just like a lions den. the face we wake up to, the face(s) we carry. the expressions that are handheld. custom made expressions.

Erykah Badu feat Stephen Marley- Im in love with you i could...

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 16:18:00 -0500

Erykah Badu feat Stephen Marley- Im in love with you

i could try to be unresponsive. haven’t listened to this in years..

Georgia Anne Muldrow - More & More

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:01:14 -0500

Georgia Anne Muldrow - More & More

ö

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 15:17:00 -0500

sıkıldım senden. tutarsızsın.

So many things happening concurrently. How do you catch up with...

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 11:58:00 -0500

So many things happening concurrently.

How do you catch up with it. how do you stay.. well human? so let me take off my shoes, and say ‘i’m home’. a night out. the one i haven’t coloured into my diary for a long time.but then came the never ending other plans, excuses from habit. either way, i abolish any understanding. the ones that prevent us from empathising. for some, it must be hard to comfort others i guess. so now i go back to my ways. and i see; someone else, that it was somebody else.

it’s been such a long time. such a big hole. need help to be whole. haha really, mmm am i writing as i think. im speaking to myself again. need to make it through the night. good thousands of words.

Chantae Cann- People Make the World Go Round People Make the...

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 18:02:00 -0500

Chantae Cann- People Make the World Go Round

People Make the World Go Round

i just brought you a bundle of tissues, blow your bloody nose....

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 16:52:00 -0500

i just brought you a bundle of tissues, blow your bloody nose. stop making noise. its pissing me off. all i need is silence, just so i can focus on some banking law. please sort your nose out little girl. need to write up salmon J’s decision, cant be seated here focusing on this when you’re constantly sniffing. the library, same spot i used to sit at, nearly a decade ago.

full of it. another one of those days, where keen refusal is...

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 08:47:00 -0500

full of it. another one of those days, where keen refusal is necessary. really need this work to be over so i can…go

Kendra Foster- Possession-free philosophy the words.the words....

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 07:38:49 -0500

Kendra Foster- Possession-free philosophy

the words.the words. the words just hit in the right places

Al Green- A change is gonna come

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 08:34:50 -0500

Al Green- A change is gonna come

he said it’s been a long time coming, and i can only turn...

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 08:26:00 -0500

he said it’s been a long time coming, and i can only turn blind for so long.

The sentiment of virtue is a reverence and delight in the presence of certain divine laws. it perceives that this homely game of life we play, covers, under what seem foolish details, principles that astonish. The child amidst his baubles, is learning the action of light, motion, gravity, muscular force; and in the game of human life, love, fear, justice, appetite, man and God, interact. These laws refuse to be adequately stated.- Ralph Waldo Emerson

that is then, the moment that the moon touches the earth. and...

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 13:33:02 -0500

that is then, the moment that the moon touches the earth. and confusion becomes your existence. and the power of three doesnt matter anymore because all you feel is melancholia. you listen to a granddad saying ‘rise up and walk you are not dead’ and it astonishes you how he just died willingly. reflections, being aware of all your faults. Maya was correct. Bitterness is like cancer. i did eat myself up. and in loving correspondence this should not be the individuals concern. i have burned all clean. I am free from you. very soon.

Aretha Franklin-THINK!

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 13:22:00 -0500

Aretha Franklin-THINK!

sleep. under-performance. problem with thyself. three weeks four...

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 12:18:00 -0500

sleep. under-performance. problem with thyself. three weeks four topics.

nothing to say. its sad that my instinct is to write when i am...

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 19:51:32 -0500

nothing to say. its sad that my instinct is to write when i am unhappy. i wish i could describe happiness as well as i can use words for sadness. uneasy. uneasy. unwilling. non-existent. feet are falling, nothing but sound. even that makes me sick. do not want to see or hear from abc. no fucking way.

How would you feel if you spent a period of your life (even a...

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 21:29:32 -0500

How would you feel if you spent a period of your life (even a minute) behind bars for a crime you never committed? January marks the 10th anniversary of this supermax prison: Guantanamo Bay. Anything extrajudicial is wrong! this is what people must realise, this is what we should be selfless about when campaigning. Human rights abuses can only be solved when we get in touch with our humanity. Look closer to home, but care for the world of colours out there too.

Just wanted to say: i can do it. imagination. hayal....

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 20:46:24 -0500

Just wanted to say: i can do it. imagination. hayal. imaginación.

whatever you want, a push does it all. honestly. truly. really!

airspotting. it’s exactly this. and the way we follow a...

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 16:07:30 -0500

airspotting.

it’s exactly this. and the way we follow a year around sometimes and do the thing we… i’ll keep my fingers crossed and will feel the balls of my feet on the ground at every second of 12. Like some sort of angel from the factory of love, my friend, if there was such thing as having bests in life; my bestfreind managed to… and i cannot wait till monday, just the relief of having this burden removed, not urgent like taking a piss, i’m not bursting for it, but i’m about to pee myself for a holiday. They were 60% off the sale price. one hundred and twenty one pounds. i’d love to share my tale about this pair of…but wont ruin the magic of it. Need to start moving forward with my new year resolutions.

artspotting

i’m thinking. how was this year? 2011. the year with the...

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 14:52:00 -0500

i’m thinking. how was this year? 2011. the year with the odd number. the year i turned 21. i want to analyse it, but its too all over the place everything seems patchy. ‘it wasn’t that bad’ i say, but somehow it seems it could have been better. it has categories… i start thinking of my standards and the hopes i had, those high hopes of achievement. and how is happiness attained?

if i say it was good; i can’t work out why i feel numb. if i say it was bad; i can’t answer; “but you had me in your life”. i could say ‘i was in complete harmony and everything was awesome on its own’, then i’ll have them think that i don’t miss them, they’ll believe i am egocentric. if i say i had misfortune; i’ll presumably get ‘you lived with me, you saw me every morning’.

I’ve given up. it was a weird year. so i hope 2012 will be a better year. obviously- clearly with its categories again. for all of us. with health at our feet and luck in our breath. i hope i feel the love in everything i do.